Although, I might take a RAIN CHECK on all of the above. My sweet Hubby is going to be OFF, my sweet Son is running the 10k down at White Rock Lake. I might just say BTHHHHH with it all and go jump in the pool, float around and grab some good old fashioned Vitamin D ME time!..
Christina came in for a mini R/R and scared her mother to death. All this time I have been fed a line a bull. "Mom, I am not sure if I am going to be able to come out, I don't know what my schedule is going to be, to the ever famous. SILENT treatment for the days before her arrival." As we are sitting watching a movie right before dinner. I am mentioning how CUTE Handsome, etc.etc. the star of THOR is. And, All of a sudden I hear OH yes he is in the background.! Its My GIRL. My baby GIRL in her AVU's. I jump up run and practically KNOCK her down. I was so excited to be holding that sweet precious child of mine. It felt like an eternity since I had felt her heart close to mine, the sweet smell of her skin, the feeling of being WHOLE. It brings tears to my eyes just imagining and reliving that moment on Tuesday night. Oh my oh my oh my. My sweet baby girl. My lil aerospace medic.
As the night falls, we find ourselves walking around the house, the farm, petting the animals, getting reaquainted with the moment. Then, as we turn and stop we find ourselves just staring at one another. As if we know we will have to say goodbye in less than 32hrs. But, just drinking it all up in one gulp was the only thought we had.
Christina knows where her home is, I know where my baby girl is. It is the simplest of Mother/Daughter relationships with a dash of Southern hospitality, a Dollup of YOU KNOW BECAUSE I SAID SO, and a splash of I cannot imagine life without you.
Her coming home was such a sweet gift. Was such a dose of i needed that.
I thought it would get easier as she got older to watch her leave. Nope..
It doesn't but, it's not the fact that she is leaving and going to be hundreds of miles away, but the simple fact that she won't be HERE with me. Most of my family all of us actually. We all stayed around the house for a while, then when we did move out, some of us moved across the street, across the intersection, across town. But, the town is small so it didn't seem like they were moving away.
But, with Chris. She is moved away. She is hundreds of miles away, Counties away. Close to where our ancestors are from. Yet, too close for comfort. I am not scared. I feel like a true mother hen. I want to make sure she is ok, I want to make sure I KNOW WHERE SHE IS at all times. Not because I am being a micro manager. But because I love her. I want to know she is ok.
This feeling will never change. As I pray as she drives away; God reveals just a beautiful gift. As if he was standing right there with me. I heard it as was being whispered. You do know that she loves you. You know you will feel this way till the day you die. It won't matter if she is 19/ or 99. YOU ARE HER MAMA. She is your baby. It's ok to feel this way. I look up at the sky and just praise him for such a peace. I stand on awe as she pulls out of the drive, honking her famous honk. All I know to do is to run to my truck yank open the door, and HONK BACK. Praying she heard me. Honk de da honk honk. Honk HONK. ( in the tune of shave and a hair cut, Two Bits).
That was Yesterday. Today is today. Tomorrow is no reason to worry. Because, Today like any other day has enough problems unto itself. So, I will wear my bright lipstick, I will use my silver servers, I will soak up EVERY opportunity.
I will live like there is no Tomorrow. I will dance in the rain as if no one is watching. I will have the faith of a child. Because, My God knows my heart, he made me, he gives me so much. How could anyone want anything when God is in their lives. All I want is to be loved and cherished. And, I am. As a wife, as a Mother, as a friend, as a daughter.
Who cares if you don't get everything on your list done. Because, what is it to worry. Do your best, because that is all that is asked of you.
And, with that.
You guys have a great weekend.
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